Busy

Yesterday I had a debate with my friend.

I thought, after I come home, I will go and revise

It did not go as planned. Home. Three hours of Doctor who. Next thing is, I am on Whatsapp. I tell my friend I am happy and that I love me and that it is so easy to not love oneself then we go onto the concept of religion and she tries to tell me that my religion is passed down and inaccurate, so I take the same angle and she gets defensive and I think, hang on, you try tell me I am wrong. Fair enough. One cannot be right. But then, I tell you back what you just told me to attack what you believe and you seal the cracks and insist that I am wrong.

Okay, so I was like, oh gosh, I am so busy and I have not got anything done at all.

In the church sermon we were told we choose busy life styles and or we choose to think we are busy and I am thinking about it. That is so true. We choose to go school and uni and to work. I mean, there are laws and stigma guiding us but, then again, we choose to obey.

My aim is to try not to be busy.

I spend way too much time revising. I thought, but I like revising, but I like living too.

I am going to choose not to be busy. I will try not to be busy for my friends, I will try not to be too busy to look after myself. I will try not to, in the illusion of busy, rush a meal and go straight into revision. I will try to sit down and soak in everything and sing along to my music. I will try not to be busy to go on a jog now and again. I will try not be busy to blog and to write and to love and open up my heart.

I will try but I need to take into consideration, some days are better for trying than others.

Today, right now in fact, I will commence. Bye busy. I am putting you aside for now.