Liz

Hello

Yesterday, I talked to the Wellbeing service lady and she told me that it would be wise to inform my personal tutor about the knock on effect my friend's situation is having on me.

I emailed her and her response was sweet. She was like, she was sorry to hear that I had a problem and that she needs her Nemo sitter happy and healthy. (Because I didn't tell her the problem through email, she could only speculate).

We met up today to discuss my email. It was rather daunting. She went straight to the topic (ie. what is the problem?) So I could not even try beat around the bush. I explained and she was really nice about it. It was really hard in the respect that she is so lovely and so understanding. It makes me feel like she could see more than I was saying if that makes sense. I felt more exposed that I would with someone else. It doesn't help that she is an expert in facial expressions and emotions. Also, it doesn't help at all that I was giving her eye contact. I couldn't not. I always give her eye contact so to not then would have been weird.

I felt like crying and hiding in my room. I felt stupid and childish. She was concerned. Said that I shouldn't think that just because he had the problem that I have no right to be selfish. She was like that making sure I was alright should be the priority as well because I can only be a good friend for him if I myself am in a good state. Then she was like I can come to her office or email her even during the holiday (because she works through holidays). Then she said that I was a warm person (not literally because I am usually cold, but metaphorically. Like seriously, my hands are perpetually freezing! This cold weather doesn't help). Then she said that I make her smile. And I was half happy and half like, I am going to cry, I just need to get out of her and hide away from the world because I feel so silly.

I left and then returned to the common room where my friend Amy was waiting and we watched part of a documentary about cochlear implants (seeing as we were recommended to watch it by our lecturer as we had learned about hearing and listening).


Oh also, I am not sure if I mentioned, but J is seeking help. I am so proud of him!!!

I think I posted a post on how I told him to get help and how we went to our subwarden to get that sorted. He is actually not backing out and I am so happy. I am happy as well that I had the conversation with him. I was so worried that he'd hate me for suggesting that he needed professional help. I was considering just leaving it and letting him sort of deal with his problems himself. It's good that everything (so far) is working out.