Peace with myself

I try to pray before I go sleep every day. 

And if I am not that tired, I reflect on the day.

Not everything is happy. Some stuff are stressful, but more than ever, recently, I have been feeling as if things are operating in an harmonious way. It is not perfect, but the notes all fit. I have been feeling at peace and ease with myself. I have just acknowledged that and that makes me happy. I have come a long way. 

There is still along way to go.

I felt like writing a poem

First let us establish what 'peace' is.

Peace and War will always coexist.

Peace seeks not to be perfect harmony and bliss.
It's not that feigned stalemate friendship
where both sides refuse to rock the boat.
It is not without its pain, hurt and spite;
indeed, peace is despite. 

It is the sun shining through the heavy burdened clouds
on a stale cold day
however feeble the ray

Peace with myself is:
not feeling obligated
to forge my face into a smile for a foe
just for the sakes of being pleasant 

Peace is acceptance:
that I am a pushover;
that I am human;
that I can't always.

It is no longer feeling adamant in blaming myself
and accepting that sometimes fault
lies in someone else.

It's stopping in my tracks

to reflect back.

Finding peace in myself is so humane

in many years I tortured myself trying to find it
it was never caught.