Friendship

Friends are important. Mrs Punjwani - my old Sociology teacher - once reminded me that friends are the family you choose, one time when I was talking to her. Like a lot of the things that she told me during year 11, she is right. 

I have realised - and what a relief this is - I am not as friends with as many people as I thought I was. Hahaha, I am probably one of those extroverted introverts like Bob.

After Bob left from the same college as me, I felt lost. Like, crap, I can't be alone - I am a part of something; Trevor and Bob. I cannot possibly Trevor alone. Bob and Trevor do not care about anyone else and what people think and stupid stuff - they are too awesome to. However, Trevor, all alone is not as strong and confident as she would like to think alone. 

I realised two things when she left. That I never had to be alone during high school, because Bob was there. And that I could not carry on being Trevor, all alone. 

Since Bob left, I have re established myself as Linda - that is what people call me now because Olugbemi causes too much confusion. 

I felt that after Bob left that I would not be able to fit in. It was like October and everyone have already settled and decided who there friends was. Bob and I have decided who our friends were, but with her gone, they could not be our friends any more. 

I have made friends though and friendship is an extraordinary thing. 

Today, I found myself smiling like and idiot, because I saw Mahamood. He us one of my new friends. It feels weird, but I have found myself smiling when he is around. Not because I like him or any thing - I like him as a friend - nothing more; it is just that when you think about it, there are so little people you can actually call a friend for certain. There are the people you have the sort of love hate relationships with, who you are forever doubting, yet always hanging out with and having a good time with. There are the people you are friends with because it is convenient or because you do not want to hurt them, However, if you think about it, there are little people who you are actually friends with; who you want to be around and who matter to you. 

Friendship feels great. I sit next to Evelin in all the lessons we share together, and it is that feeling when she is talking to someone else and she feels the need to include me into the conversation. It is that feeling when I am messing around with her stuff - again - and she just smiles at me as I slyly try to return her stuff. It is that feeling when I am on the swing next to Agata and we are talking about random stuff.