In response to your post

I'm no better with updating. Today, I've posted three (soon to be four) but I probably won't post for the next year! Alright, that is an exaggeration... but yeah.

I'm proud of you. :) Happy that you're doing so well! Your hard work is paying off.

Wow, that sounds really long and stressful. Hang in there! :)

It's a bit funny because I went Sufra today and my daughter's mum was looking at me and she was like, Linda, you've lost weight. What's happening? Are you eating properly? And I said yes of course I am eating properly. Tobi asked the same thing too and I was like... maybe??? And she was like, what do you mean? So I told her and she said I was being stupid and I agreed and I told her not to tell anyone and she told me to make sure I eat properly from now on.


I came back home, and filled in the fridge and table was all the food I've been avoiding for weeks. Orange juice, garlic bread, apple pies, white bread, butter, meat, speedy burgers, pizza, cake, biscuits and sweets and I was just there like, crap, these people are trying to poison me. I am going to gain so much weight over the weekend. And we're going Nandos and IKEA tomorrow so I will need to go on a jog.

I feel better in terms of food at the moment. I am still counting calories (and I may have got a kitchen scale to weigh my food so I can calculate calories more precisely) but I now have breakfast with Alicia and I am eating healthier than home. I booked a counselling session which is on the 24th February and I spoke to my subwarden about it, because I want to cancel it because I don't think I need help, but she was like, it isn't necessarily for people who have problems, and it can help tackle a problem before it gets worse and I have nothing to lose. I can just go to the one and never go again so I reckon, if things get better, I'll abandon it but if it doesn't then I'll stick to it.

(I am so sorry, I feel like I am just focusing on me, me, me.)

I can't wait to hear your voice. :)

As for J.... Yes... A certain someone may have messaged me expressing some very worrying thoughts that meant that I couldn't go to sleep, but had to spend an hour, hugging him as he cried... I'll let you figure out the horrible and worrying nature of those thoughts I'd prefer to tell you the story through text or call as opposed to through my blog.


Love you lots and lots :) I am so glad I have you in my life!!!