Consider yourself one of us!

This week, I have been doing work experience in Brampton Health Centre in Kingsbury and tomorrow is my last day and I have to say, I do not want to leave and I wish I told the lady that I would do two weeks instead of one.

On the Monday, I did not know what to do. I came and stood in front of the office waiting for the person in front of me to deal with their enquiry and when the receptionist saw me, she told me to come inside and I stood awkwardly till I felt as if she had given me permission to sit.

Then I just sort of sat around all day. I did 5 hours of shredding. At first I was fascinated by the machine - I need one of them, I thought - but when paper got jammed, I thought, well, why am I not surprise, I screwed up something. Rita - one of the receptionists told me that I should not let the shredder get too hot and what did I do? Let it get hot. I thought that she would shout at me but instead she just laughed.

The nurse was quite cool. She let me ask questions but that was only for like an hour or so.


On Tuesday, I felt a little more comfortable and confident. On the Monday, I avoided looking at people in the eyes and sat there indifferent when they were laughing. Today, I met an actual doctor. He was so nice to me. He came into the office and instead of looking at me and then deciding that I did not exist, he introduced himself to me, asked for my name and told me that at 9:30 I could go sit in with him and watch GP appointments. Which, quite frankly, I was eager to do, compared to all the' shredding. I was a bit anxious - he made it clear that I could, in fact should ask questions. I had a couple of questions, but they were all the usual typical questions that he probably heard lots of time before.

I asked them anyway, so I seemed interested - which I actually was. I asked why he became a doctor and his reply struck me by so much surprise that I could not wipe the surprise of my face for him not to see it. 'You tell me.' He said. And he was serious. If I want to be a doctor, he continued, then I had to answer the question when applying for Uni's and interviews, so he was giving me an opportunity to answer from what I observed, why he did the job.

He asked me to answer the question, then I stuttered and said, because it is a constant challenge. It was, from what it seemed. 10 - 15 minutes for each patient. Language barrier - most of the patients today did not speak English as a first language, so despite the limited time frame, he he would have to communicate using English and gestures to explain something to someone who barely knew English. In addition to this, the patients weren't exactly knowledgeable about their own situation so they would throw out bits and bobs and he would have to prioritize and discard information, all in 10 - 15 minutes. For instance, some people may say inflammation of chest when it is really lower down in the abdomen that had problems. Also, everything was a new situation. Every 10 - 15 minutes, he would be given a brand new puzzle to solve. One minute, a young girl with tonsillitis, then the next, an old man with knee pains even though he had been given two knee replacement surgeries.

He had to deal with other non patient issues as well. For instance, NHS cut backs and the ageing population. It is a job, he said, that really engages the mind. You have to be compassionate and communicate well and want to help people. You have to be nosy. I also realized that as well as being compassionate and caring about the patient, you have to be not afraid to carry out something intrusive, for instance a smear test. He made me watch a - I do not know what he was called but he was looking up a lady's genital area for something.


The receptionists were so cool. They had a box of chocolates on the desk and every now and then told me to take one. They also talked to me and made jokes. I had to do quite a bit of filing. By Wednesday, I had warmed to them and did not find it awkward talking to them and even joking back.  :)

There was this lady - Bharti - whose mum died. I knew because she kept telling people as to explain why she went on holiday. She is a little lady for 57 and had long black hair with several gray streaks, but it suits her regardless. The room where I was filing is a small room with the words, 'Private' and a 'keep shut, fire door.' It is not a fire door, though. It is sort of the garage. It has: lots of files; a desk with a microwave; tumble dryer, washing machine, mini fridge, boxes and a cupboard with coffee and tea making equipment. Therefore, I was never alone for too long as a member of staff kept coming in to make coffee or tea or just hot water (for Rita, who was dieting).

Bharti came in and started to make conversation. We were talking about what subjects I do, then she asked how long I was there for and I said 9 - 4 and then she said she worked longer before but had to cut her hours because it was too much. Then, she said that she was angry. Like in a tiny, not so angry voice. I did not want to be rude and ignore her but i did not want to be intrusive either and ask why. However, deciding it was the nicest option to ask why, I did. She said it was because of Northwick Park Hospital where her mum died. They had a story today about how they did not feed or water the old people there and how they just let them die. She went there asking them for them to release her so they could take her home where she would be comfortable, but they said no and then she died. It was so sad. Like, she was actually crying. I did not know what to do. I felt helpless, like what do I do or say? I can't exactly brush it over. But then I thought imagine how much more helpless she must feel, so I got up and hugged her and gave her tissue.

In the afternoon, I sat with Mariam. She is 18 and really nice. :)

Thursday, today, I sat with the nurse. A different one this time. She was quite really nice, explaining everything and even letting me feel the patients pulse and look up one patients ear. She let me stay in the room for a smear test - which I really did not want to. The patient could not speak English. She asked her if she was sexually active and the patient said no. The nurse asked 'Virgin?' loudly and she replied 'Yes.' The nurse must have doubted this so she called in an Arabic translator who translated that the lady had children. Unless she was the virgin Mary or God had given her a miracle, I doubt she was a virgin.

A man and his mother came in. He was quite rude to the nurse. She called him a wanker afterwards and got so angry,

Tomorrow is my last day. :( I want to stay there forever. I already feel part of the furniture.

I will really actually miss it. I am glad I did it despite dreading it at first. I feel a bit more confident at the moment, so that is good. Also, I am thinking. Perhaps I should do medicine?

Okay, before, I did not want to because I had no conviction myself. I only wanted to do it because my Dad wants me to become a doctor and he always keeps pulling shit like before I die... I felt coerced sort of to go into a path I did not want to which scared me. I did not want to become a doctor. However, I got that a bit wrong. I do not want to become a hospital Doctor. I realize now, there are other possibilities like GP Doctor or Psychiatrist. After this work experience, I do not feel as if I am compromising my feelings or life to do something I do not want to. Imagine that? Dr Moronfolu. However, I want a more active lifestyle - GP's sit a lot. I think perhaps I do not want to become a hospital doctor as I got the role messed up a bit in my head because of shows like Scrubs where the doctors all raise around to save a patients life and they die - whilst that is the reality for some doctors - there are other pathways as well such as a children's doctor or gynecologist or something.

I feel like an idiot. I was scared of the monster under my bed that I wasn't even sure was a monster. I mean, i did no research into the career but just feared going into medicine because I felt like the only reason why I was considering it was because of expectations. However, it is just as broad as Psychology and if I did it, I would probably be able to find a career I would like. That being said, does not mean I will apply for medicine in September. I just feel a bit more empowered, confident and informed about my future.


I will, I should, have a look about careers in Psychology. SHIT..... I just realized I can message Judy. :) Hahahaha that's the good thing about Facebook. Also, I will ask the lady who is an educational Psychologist in church and I will ask Miss Saeed if I can talk to her mum about psychology pathways as she is a family psychologist.