Small sort of break down

Hey guys.

Today I had like a small break down in the Learning Centre in College.

I was doing a revision timetable and then I just started crying.

I was just there sat for like 20 minutes crying my eyes out. Each time I tried to stop myself, I created a new reason to keep on crying.

It started of like, OMG, I am really a piece of shit.

Then went on to, I am not capable.

Then I went on to why the f am I crying. There are people everywhere.

Then it went on to I need fresh air. I need to get out but I could not move out of my seat and I had to go work soon and I did not want anyone to see me in such a state.

Then I started to think, I am a horrible sister.

Then I am a horrible person.

Then I started to think, OMG STFU and stop crying. Why are you here just attention seeking.

And then I thought, I just want to call my mum and tell her that I love her and hug her which made me feel like a worst person for taking her for granted.

Then I thought, wow, I am so fat and ugly and just a horrible piece of crap.

I managed to stop crying unnoticed and got up to sign myself in for work. Then Alex came and asked me if I was alright and I started to shake and cry and I just could not control it.

It sucked. She was asking me what was wrong. I just kept saying I was fine. (I resent the word fine.) And then our sort of manager came out and she was asking what was wrong and she asked if it was something to do with home, or boyfriend trouble and I laughed because no, it most definitely was not boyfriend trouble.

She kept saying I could go home if I felt like crap but I kept saying I was fine to work.