13 reasons why

Okay, so I finished reading thirteen reasons why and it is funny because I always think books are better than series are movies. However, I didn't like the book too much.

I could not sympathise with Hannah in the TV series and in the books, I could a bit more. However, towards the end, I really disliked her. This girl, knowing Bryce was a rapist, took of all her clothes and got in a hot tub with him. She could have turned around, but no. In the book, it was depicted like she knew it would happen but she didn't care enough to try and get a way because she had already made up her mind. She almost wanted him to do something so that she could lose control completely. I am not at all for victim blaming. i.e. Where were they? What were they wearing? Above all, rape is wrong. However, it is common sense that if you know someone is a rapist, you don't hang out with them half naked.

I think my overall problem is the way suicide is depicted. Hannah used it as a weapon to punish people. I mean, yeah, she was vulnerable, but she was also malicious. The amount of responsibility she put on others for her life was a lot.

It reminds me of James actually. As in, trying to use suicide as a weapon, not to punish people I guess, but more to keep people around. At the time, me and other people involved thought, if we say or do the wrong thing, if we're not there for him, he might go through with it. We thought it was our responsibilities to keep him from hurting himself. We were so worried about our input into his life. However, more and more, I am starting to believe that as much as people can have an impact on your life, if someone is ending theirs, then it is there decision. Granted, it may not feel like a decision. It may feel like it is the only option. And yes, someone can be hurt by others making them want to hurt themselves. However, ultimately, you cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Not in the long run anyway. For instance, I have a friend who has anxiety and I can try and be there for her, but when she doesn't want me to be, she won't contact me.

The answer has to come from the sufferer really. And that is what bothers me. Hannah's story is about what others did and didn't do. What did she do for herself though? I get that she felt like she was losing control, but there are so many alternatives.