Here is what I found on a mark scheme for Psychology. The question way 'Explain the ethical issues associated with using animals in drug research.'

"Animal research is subject to strict regulations that can be costly to set up as special housing, equipment and an licence is required/eq; "

Edexcel. This is not a bloody ethical issue point. This is practical. Not ethical. Practical.

This might be too much information. I do not care.

I have never been so happy to have a period.

Two days ago, I was aching all over.

My legs hurt like, my stomach ached and my head ached.

And so I thought it was early period pains.

Then when I did not have one on the day, I was worried.

Here is a poem just because I can.

I said hello to my nice boss today.

It could not be avoided because she was right in front of me.

Then she asked me if I had 5 minutes and I said yes. 

And she was like go into the silent study room.

It had people in it. There was a meeting.

I was like huh, and she was like go and get yourself some of the free food in there. 

And I was like, no thank you. There are people in there and I just ate and no.

And she was like, food is good for you.

And she eventually let me go after telling another member of staff that I looked so scared at the prospect. 

Micheal Worgs came up to Victoria and I today and he was like, "Are you guy's good?"

Then when we replied, he was like, "Are you guys going to get me my A's and A*'s?"

When he left, Victoria and I pulled faces.

Our personal achievement is ours. Not something we wish to make the college look good with.

Terrorism is disgusting. 

All these people suicide bombing in the name of religion is stupid.

What God would want other people to deliberately kill? 

I hugged this girl today in my psychology class.

Her eyes went all watery.

Then she told me that that was the first time that someone had hugged her in months.

People at church are asking about my mum.

They ask to know how my mum is - why she is not a church.

I say she is in Nigeria.

Oh okay. The conversation should end there.

Some people I think so genuinely want to know how I manage, I think. And that is fine really.

This one lady said today, 'they will be fine. They have their dad to look after them.'

And this one lady pulled an incredulous face which really offended me on my dad's behalf.

As if to say, that man cannot even look after himself. How can he look after children?

They see him in church and see that he has difficulty walking and think that he is senile.
Which really does annoy me.

My dad really does try. Does all the ironing in the house. Takes my sister school and he does some shopping. Yes, the majority, at the end of the day is left to me.

 However, that is not to say that my dad is not capable of looking after his children.

I was over hearing the librarian talk to a certain guy with a minions hat who likes my friend.

She told him off for his lack of work and said his problem was that he was surrounded by girls.

This one time his friend got angry that he gets so much attention from girls.

I was sat there thinking, a lot of my friends who know him are unimpressed and the girl that he wants has a boyfriend and finds him selfish.

So I guess, perhaps all his friends who have dubbed him as a womanizer do not see the full picture.

I sort of had an argument with Lima.

Well not much an argument.

I said something.

She got upset or angry.

So yeah.

I should deal with that.

I should have not said anything in the first place.

It is my Dad's birthday.

He was so happy.

We got him everything he wanted.

Attention seeker

I was thinking about today, my lack of communication with my older brother.

When I was younger, I kept myself to myself really.

I felt so lonely, yet I was 1 of 6.

I looked at text books, wrote myself knew realities; studied, drew, ate way to much and isolated myself.

It is weird. I had talked to my siblings - I had to have done when I was a child.

Then year 7 came.

I was thinking about it.

Perhaps all I wanted was attention.

Then, I was so unhappy.

Bullying really attacked my self esteem.

I cried.

I hated things.

My parents never noticed.

They had a new baby who needed attention.

They had an oldest child who was most important due to being first.

They had a troublesome son who got into fights.

They had a daughter who was not a screw up.

She was not fat like me. She had not had speech difficulties.

She could learn things quicker and she was prettier.

They had a perfect daughter already - who needed me?

Perhaps I just isolated myself because I did not get the attention I needed?

I mean, no one ever noticed that I was so upset and that I wanted to die.

No one ever noticed that I was struggling.

They believed my smile.

Most of the attention I got were from my friends.

Maybe the way I act is all for attention.

I mean, that would not be too far fetched.

I talk and laugh loudly.

In the beginning of every Chemistry lesson, I go round and hug every one.

I show my siblings every new drawing and ask them if it looks okay even though I think, this is fantastic.

I talk to pretty much everyone in all my lessons.

I think sometimes that I deliberately try not to blend in.

Maybe, I am just a little girl inside, who wants attention?

The other week, Sushmita tried to tell me that I was alright with practical work.

I think today, she took that back.

I broke a measuring cylinder.

Also, I accidentally let my ethadenoic acid boil past 100 degrees Celsius when it was supposed to be 70. 

Then, on my second attempt of boiling, the tissue i used to remove the conical flask from the Bunsen burner caught on fire. 

I was holding it in my hand trying to blow on it. 

Hameed eventually took it from me and put it on the table after I would not listen to him and do so myself.

So yeah, it is down to Hameed that I did not burn down the class. 

So Scotland is set in stone

Scotland is a whole different country.

However, who knows what the future holds? Who knows what will happen?

We humans can only say what we want to happen.

As long as you want to go Scotland, Bob. That is what matters.

Do not think about what you will believe behind, but what you are heading too.
I have been reading your blog Bob, so do not accuse me of not doing so. :P

You seem to be sort of

I cannot really be too upset if I am honest. I cannot really say anything like, don't go. I will not try influence your decision making.

That would be unfair. I might not even be in London anyway.

And the other people you may be considering about may not be in London.

You may have broken up with him.

People may have moved on.

Things will not be the same then as it is now.

At the moment, I cannot really think ' well I will miss her so much because we do not do much together' because that is true of now.

So do not think, 'I will be leaving people behind' until you will actually be leaving people behind.

As repeatedly said in Meet the Robinsons, we have to 'keep moving forward.'

And hope hope hope hope that everything turns out alright.

psychology mock

I had a mock on Friday for psychology.

The questions were all perfect.

I could answer them in my sleep.

I could have got full marks.

Only, I ran out of time.

Must practice.

In Church, I talked way more than usual. It was weird.

This lady asked me to hand out small heart sequences to people before the service. So I went around thrusting heart in peoples palms. 

After Church, I found myself talking to the nice old ladies. I do not remember what they said. There is one lady who is 100 and she comes with her daughter in law and it was really cute, because she put pillows on her mother in laws seat to make sure she was comfortable. I offered to get them tea, but she was like it is fine.

I was standing waiting for my sister to get cake and then Nilesh came up to me and asked about my mum and I told him she was in Nigeria and he asked me if I had to do the cooking and cleaning and I said yes and then he called his wife and she started to talk to me about how she was one of five but her siblings were way older so she got a lot of quiet and how she liked quiet and she asked if living with so many people was really loud and I said yes, but it is never boring. Eventually, we drifted out of conversation and I ran to the car and apologized to my dad for taking long because he had been waiting in the car for me for 20 minutes and I was just talking.

I just did a Biology past paper for unit 5.

I made so many silly mistakes.

I calculated the percentage.

63 percent. It was bad. However, considering that I have not had much practice, it does not matter too much. I can improve. I will improve.

I looked at the grade boundaries for the paper.

63 percent of the entire paper had been an A.

Such low grade boundaries.

Obviously, I will not rely on low grade boundaries to get my grade.

I will do the work.

But it feels good sort of to know that most likely for my biology exam, grade boundaries will be on my side.

I was talking to Paula during this week. Despite what a lot of people think about her, I quite like her as a person. Anyway, let us not get into that.

She told me something as like she wanted to work for her plan A before having to resort to a plan B.

It is good really, because she is working for what she wants, despite all the pitfalls and how hard it is. Also, some people

Electrodes 

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/037%20Redox%20Equilibria%20I.pdf

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/041%20ques_cells_n_%20SEP.pdf

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/045%20Standard%20Electrode.pdf

Born Haber 

Answering Questions On Born-Haber Cycles

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/29_BORN_.PDF

Energetics - Lattice Enthalpy and Born-Haber Cycle

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/28_LATTI.PDF

Acids and bases

Acid-Base Equilibria II - Buffer Solutions, Titrations & Indicators

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/26_ACID_.PDF

Acid, base and equilibrium 

https://www.aldercarhighschool.co.uk/RSSFeed/SubjectWebpage/P16%20Chemistry/StudentsResources/Chem%20Factsheets/25_ACID_.PDF

A good way to start the day

I am sort of less stressed and able to study and concentrate, social sort of day.

Yesterday was not a good day. I started the day wrong, if I think about it. I started the day in a bad mood and it got worst as the day wore on.

Today, I woke up at 6pm to my sister and she was going to try to study for an hour.

I thought, wow. That is motivation and determination there.

It sort of robbed off on me.

My sister is willing to get out of bed early to study just to get a bit of extra time.
Recently, I on the other hand, have been complaining about lack of time to study and stressing about studying as opposed to actually studying.

I decreed this morning, no more. The time to stress and be unorganized is over. Now is the time to try my hardest despite everything. Now is the time to take a deep breathe in, organize myself and study.

I have been complaining recently that nothing at all in biology went in last week. I tried to recall what I had learnt and everything which I did not even think I learnt, poured out. I guess I just need to trust myself more in terms of studying because I can do this.

Drawing :)

I have been drawing this weekend.

I decided that I'd take Mike's advise and sort of take a holiday from anything to do with school and studying.

I do not know. The common theme in both was storms and water. I think I have been listening to so much Florence and the Machine because a common theme in her songs is water. In fact, I read a article where she was like her manager told her that she was not allowed to wrote songs about water in her latest album.

I may draw some more. I feel like drawing at the moment. :) I am thinking lanterns? Or a sun rise? Or an animal?

To the unsung heroes

Today we went church which is the first time since my mum went Nigeria.

We came in and most of the seats were taken and so we had to sit on a different side of the church.

Then the priest came up to me and asked if I could read something out in the middle of the service and she gave me sort of hasty instructions so I was left there like, what am I even supposed do?

When it was my turn to read, she signaled to me. I then thought, I have not even read through this properly because it was so impromptu. Everyone was watching me and I was trying to read as slowly as I could. I  did not make any blunders but I was shaking for the next 10 minutes.

We sat down and this lady came up to talk about the charity she worked for, which was home for good. They find foster homes for children who need them. Her speech was amazing. It left a lot of the congregation in tears. She told us that what we could do was become foster parents, support foster parents or simply pray for all these people who remain nameless to us, but named in God's eyes. She reminded us that mothers day was not great for everyone. There are people without their mothers. People struggling to conceive. It is rather sad.


The old ladies I like talking to were crying and I ended up hugging one of them. It was a bit awkward because I was unsure as to whether she was trying to hug me or just hold my face.

The made the little children read out the mothers days cards that they made for their parents. It was so cute because some of the children could barely read and this one girl came up and she was like 3 and she was like, 'I love you mummy.' So many people were crying.


 I was thinking when the lady was talking about how foster children have no home. I have parents. I was raced up - not dragged. Sure, they were not really great with emotional support, but they made most decision that they did based on what they thought would be the best for us. When I was younger I used to resent my mum a bit. Like her actions seemed cruel sometimes and she did not notice me really. She did not notice when I felt like crap, when I was worrying, when I just hated everyone and everything and when all I wanted to do was just not exist. She made me do things that I did not want to a lot. She made me feel bad about myself by saying stuff. When i was younger, I sort of exaggerated her flaws in my head. Now, thinking about it, she carried me in her for 9 months. She fed me and clothed me and looked after me when I was unable to do so. When I was ill, she looked after me. My mum is not a selfless creature. My mum is not perfect. People make mistakes. But  cannot be resentful at all. I must have been difficult. I must have been selfish at times. I needed a lot as help as a child with my pronunciation. I have been moody and stroppy not thinking about who I hurt. She did all she could. She tried her hardest in the ways she could and I am thankful and it is about time that I show more appreciation about that! Parents are heroes and the best type - unsung heroes.

Okay, so Agata, you are probably wondering what happened when I talked to Mike.

I was banging on about it so much and you were probably thinking shut up.

I

I was so like, I do not want to do this. He spoke to Lima first.

I was waiting outside talking to Mariam. I do not think I have mentioned her before. She is a girl in my chemistry class and we talk sometimes. Ironically, this happened the last time I was waiting to talk to Mike. We ended up just talking about her life and stuff happening in it.

When Lima came out, I though crap.

We went into the room and he stood which was awkward because I was thinking standing is way more awkward.

Then he was like, so what is the problem.

And I was like, I did not mean to offend him by complaining. And he smiled. He was like, why would I be offended? And I was like, I was just making sure, because obviously I could not say, because you have seemed quite sort of offended. He was like, you are the last person that would offend anyone.

Then he was like, is that all. I said yes. Then I said no actually and I was like, I am sort of stressed out about life. And at the end, he ended up telling me that he did not mind if I fall asleep in Psychology - I did not - and that I should take a week of studying. When I was like you are literally telling me not to breath he said that I should take only the weekend off then.

So I am sort of intending to.

Hopefully that goes well.


Oh! Also, guess what happened, which was SO SO SO embarrassing. I hit Mike by accident in the lesson. He was behind me and I did not realise and then I tried to turn and hit him and I did not even say sorry. I just burst out in laughter because I was like, WTF just happened.

:) :) :) :)

Amelia gave me her old Florence and the Machine CD's and I was so so so so so so happy. Like over  the moon happy. I am listening to it now  :)

It had a bit with some of her lyrics and they were so beautiful.

Looking up from underneath
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me
As before I went under

And it's peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under all

This was the bit that it had on the leaflet and I read it over and over again in chemistry thinking, wow. Wow. Like, wow. I have heard it all before in her songs, but just reading it was really wow. 

I saw Bob today. :)

We talked and sat on the floor.


And I strategically avoided Mike all day. It worked. I shall have to face him tomorrow.

I am seriously considering staying at home and making up some phony excuse.

I am worried about the way tomorrow will go down! :(


All the librarians were wearing costumes of book characters.

One was Peter Pan. There was a Sherlock. A Red Riding hood and her grandma. Also, there was a Harry Potter. They all had obvious costumes.

Good night guys.

Under a rock

I want to be Patrick. 

It is not fair that he gets to hide under a rock and that I do not. 

Today really was a hectic day.

Like really.

I just want to crawl under a rock and not have to interact with anyone ever again.

It really was.

I may expand on this later.

I need to shower now.