Brighton Trip

When we eventually reached Brighton, even though google assured me that it would be raining, the view was picturesque.

The clouds were thick, plump and fluffy. The sky behind was clouds was a dull grey color, but as the day progressed, the colour became a pale blue.

The sea, in my opinion, was magical. From afar, the water that washed up on the stones was a white colour, but around the middle, it became a faint minty green colour and a palish blue. However, upon standing on the beach, we saw that the white that I saw from a far was actually a murky brown colour. The waves were rather sharp and they pretty much roared whilst the wind whistled.


The day prior to the trip, I bought headphones. I was preparing myself to an isolated time. My aim was to in the coach and listen to my Doctor who audio book. Then when I got bored, I'd finish the third Harry Potter book and if the journey got rather tedious, I'd play some Sudoku. It did not go down like that. Mahamood came as well to the beach. He would not stop trying to get everyone to talk. Eventually, we all caved and a started to discuss how we voted in the EU referendum (or would have voted if they were bothered to register). I kept trying to sleathly slip my headphones into my ear, but Mahamood who did not have his, would not allow me to. Eventually, just to get some respite, I pretended to sleep.

(Though that did not stop us from bickering all day.)

 I am not ordinarily a fan of beaches. Let us get you incredibly high (metaphorically) in order to make it easier for us to pry away your cash from your fingers. They sold fish and chips for seven pounds. And you just have to have fish and chips (ships, if I were talking) when you go to the beach, so what is seven pounds? Oh and the doughnuts and ice cream. Yes, I am supposed to be on a diet... but it is only today! Here is more money. Don't get me started on the arcades where you deposit money into a machine that occasionally spits out coins or tokens (probably optimizing probability to ensure that you aren't ready to leave even though you've already lost a tenner.)  I still retain that view. Nonetheless, I found the experience enjoyable. I looked for pretty rocks on the beach and the girls (there were 4 others) were all really quite cool so we sat on the beach, talked and ate.

We returned to Harrow at 3:30pm and thanked Nick, the driver (a physics teacher who intended on retiring). He was the so nice and easy to engage in conversation with and it did not feel awkward calling him by his name,

Mahamood and I had got into a little argument before we entered the coach to return, so I ignored him for the rest of the journey. I even considered getting on the train (as we get the same bus home) just to avoid him, because he really annoyed me. However, we reconciled - by pretending that nothing had happened - and I followed him TSB.

I saw my mother's friend and I was like, crap, she cannot see us together because the minute I get home, my mum will probably be like, Linda, do you have a boyfriend (to which the answer has always been no) and then, she'd sit me down and give me the whole education before boys lecture. (All my mum's friend tell her if they have seen us with boys, unfortunately.) Become increasingly frustrated, because having friends who are boys (or the one friend, in my case) does not mean that I am involved with them. Upon trying to explain that to my mum, I usually hit a nerve and we end up not talking and angry at each other. I wanted to avoid all that, but still say hi, (because she was once my primary school teacher and she was nice). I told Mahamood, there is my mum's friend and so he waited for me further down the street.

Because I cannot sit around at home all day eating pizza, watching romcoms and writing fanfiction

I realized on Sunday that I was missing studying. 

It has been almost a week since I have stopped studying and 5 days since the exams. During the past month, I have been feeling overwhelmed by work and that I have had to do. I have been extremely eager at the prospect: relaxing, meeting friends and engaging in my hobbies. 

Now I am on the other side, let me tell you, the grass is no greener. I wanted to be free from education so much that I neglected that summer has it's pitfalls as well. Foremost, I am aimless. I don't have to go to sleep early and I have nothing to wake up for. (Though I do not say this in a suicidal way of course.) Just that, I have nothing that I am invested in really. 

Yes, I have had a lot of time to engage in hobbies. I read the first Harry Potter book in one day. Started on another book and decide half way that I did not like it. Now I am half way through the third Harry Potter book and this was from Saturday. I have not been out with any friends yet, but I shall make sure to call them up one by one after this week is over. Also, I shall be going to Brighton on Thursday so that counts as social contact. 

However, I think I need something that will take up most of my day, so I have decided to throw myself into volunteering and trying to find a job. 

How has the job search gone so far? Well, I got rejected by McDonald's twice and by Tesco four times. Though, I am not really downhearted because apparently McDonald's take people who don't have much ambition / that don't want to leave in a hurry so they do not have to continuously hire people. 

I went to Sufra to talk to Mohammed and we discussed what I can do to help out. The idea was that I help out in the food academy by keeping the children occupied and by talking to people - encouraging them to open up and talk about their situation which sounds pretty cool. I am in the process of thinking about it.  

Also, in the library, I fixed up my CV and the lady beside me started to help me apply for stuff and I was so happy because like she could have just left me to my own devices. 

Furthermore, I went an agency that helps people in the estate that I live in to find jobs and I have a meeting tomorrow at 3.00. 

I went Jimmy's with Lima today to celebrate no more exams and I met Lamis before the exam and we caught up and discussed life.

My exams are finally finally finally over.

Guess what?

I did something else other than study today!

I was volunteering sort of.

BHP made a video about Brent and as I am a member of the BHP youth newsletter group, I was asked if I can help out.

At the time, two weeks ago, I was disillusioned and actually said yes.

However, as time wore on, I found myself dreading helping out. I considered making some phony excuse to get out of it. For instance, I have an exam today. Oops, never realized. Silly me.

I heaved myself out of bed this morning and turned up anyhow.

This was in the civic centre and I was stood out at the front, with this lady, directing people where to go.

At first I was alone, and this girl Samara was supposed to come and help me but she was late and I was like f***.

We watched the video - which was rather good and well composed, considering that the filming all happened in two days and that Nadia - the lady in charge of the film and the youth newsletter - literally managed to get so many people to participate.

So yeah, I helped out for like three hours and talked to Samara a bit and they let me take photos with an expensive camera. ( I don't know what possessed them to let me do so.)

I survived today.

I was so happy.



I had two exams. Psychology and Chemistry.

The night before yesterday I did not get much sleep because I drank some tea which I dd not think would have caffiene in but it did.

I really could not sleep.


Yesterday night, I was so worried that I'd start my period because I knew that if I did, I certainly would not be getting much sleep at all.

Two bad nights in a row and  two exams to not make a good combination.

Fortunately, that did not happen and I was well rested and I did both the exams.


In my unit 1 psychology, I was really worries because I answered all the questions but did not read over my answers.

You're probably thinking, you're a drama queen. You answered all the questions, so that is a good sign right?

Well I need an A* so no, not reading over is a huge deal.



Today, however, I had plenty of time to read over my answers.

I am being ropped into helping Paula with revision tomorrow for three hours. (Three hours is all I would agree too). 

If she turns up late, I will go home. But I do not think she will, because she's desperate. 

I agreed