Drawing :)

I have been drawing this weekend.

I decided that I'd take Mike's advise and sort of take a holiday from anything to do with school and studying.

I do not know. The common theme in both was storms and water. I think I have been listening to so much Florence and the Machine because a common theme in her songs is water. In fact, I read a article where she was like her manager told her that she was not allowed to wrote songs about water in her latest album.

I may draw some more. I feel like drawing at the moment. :) I am thinking lanterns? Or a sun rise? Or an animal?

To the unsung heroes

Today we went church which is the first time since my mum went Nigeria.

We came in and most of the seats were taken and so we had to sit on a different side of the church.

Then the priest came up to me and asked if I could read something out in the middle of the service and she gave me sort of hasty instructions so I was left there like, what am I even supposed do?

When it was my turn to read, she signaled to me. I then thought, I have not even read through this properly because it was so impromptu. Everyone was watching me and I was trying to read as slowly as I could. I  did not make any blunders but I was shaking for the next 10 minutes.

We sat down and this lady came up to talk about the charity she worked for, which was home for good. They find foster homes for children who need them. Her speech was amazing. It left a lot of the congregation in tears. She told us that what we could do was become foster parents, support foster parents or simply pray for all these people who remain nameless to us, but named in God's eyes. She reminded us that mothers day was not great for everyone. There are people without their mothers. People struggling to conceive. It is rather sad.


The old ladies I like talking to were crying and I ended up hugging one of them. It was a bit awkward because I was unsure as to whether she was trying to hug me or just hold my face.

The made the little children read out the mothers days cards that they made for their parents. It was so cute because some of the children could barely read and this one girl came up and she was like 3 and she was like, 'I love you mummy.' So many people were crying.


 I was thinking when the lady was talking about how foster children have no home. I have parents. I was raced up - not dragged. Sure, they were not really great with emotional support, but they made most decision that they did based on what they thought would be the best for us. When I was younger I used to resent my mum a bit. Like her actions seemed cruel sometimes and she did not notice me really. She did not notice when I felt like crap, when I was worrying, when I just hated everyone and everything and when all I wanted to do was just not exist. She made me do things that I did not want to a lot. She made me feel bad about myself by saying stuff. When i was younger, I sort of exaggerated her flaws in my head. Now, thinking about it, she carried me in her for 9 months. She fed me and clothed me and looked after me when I was unable to do so. When I was ill, she looked after me. My mum is not a selfless creature. My mum is not perfect. People make mistakes. But  cannot be resentful at all. I must have been difficult. I must have been selfish at times. I needed a lot as help as a child with my pronunciation. I have been moody and stroppy not thinking about who I hurt. She did all she could. She tried her hardest in the ways she could and I am thankful and it is about time that I show more appreciation about that! Parents are heroes and the best type - unsung heroes.

Okay, so Agata, you are probably wondering what happened when I talked to Mike.

I was banging on about it so much and you were probably thinking shut up.

I

I was so like, I do not want to do this. He spoke to Lima first.

I was waiting outside talking to Mariam. I do not think I have mentioned her before. She is a girl in my chemistry class and we talk sometimes. Ironically, this happened the last time I was waiting to talk to Mike. We ended up just talking about her life and stuff happening in it.

When Lima came out, I though crap.

We went into the room and he stood which was awkward because I was thinking standing is way more awkward.

Then he was like, so what is the problem.

And I was like, I did not mean to offend him by complaining. And he smiled. He was like, why would I be offended? And I was like, I was just making sure, because obviously I could not say, because you have seemed quite sort of offended. He was like, you are the last person that would offend anyone.

Then he was like, is that all. I said yes. Then I said no actually and I was like, I am sort of stressed out about life. And at the end, he ended up telling me that he did not mind if I fall asleep in Psychology - I did not - and that I should take a week of studying. When I was like you are literally telling me not to breath he said that I should take only the weekend off then.

So I am sort of intending to.

Hopefully that goes well.


Oh! Also, guess what happened, which was SO SO SO embarrassing. I hit Mike by accident in the lesson. He was behind me and I did not realise and then I tried to turn and hit him and I did not even say sorry. I just burst out in laughter because I was like, WTF just happened.

:) :) :) :)

Amelia gave me her old Florence and the Machine CD's and I was so so so so so so happy. Like over  the moon happy. I am listening to it now  :)

It had a bit with some of her lyrics and they were so beautiful.

Looking up from underneath
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me
As before I went under

And it's peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under all

This was the bit that it had on the leaflet and I read it over and over again in chemistry thinking, wow. Wow. Like, wow. I have heard it all before in her songs, but just reading it was really wow. 

I saw Bob today. :)

We talked and sat on the floor.


And I strategically avoided Mike all day. It worked. I shall have to face him tomorrow.

I am seriously considering staying at home and making up some phony excuse.

I am worried about the way tomorrow will go down! :(


All the librarians were wearing costumes of book characters.

One was Peter Pan. There was a Sherlock. A Red Riding hood and her grandma. Also, there was a Harry Potter. They all had obvious costumes.

Good night guys.

Under a rock

I want to be Patrick. 

It is not fair that he gets to hide under a rock and that I do not. 

Today really was a hectic day.

Like really.

I just want to crawl under a rock and not have to interact with anyone ever again.

It really was.

I may expand on this later.

I need to shower now.