The cutest thing ever

I was in Tesco and there was a baby in a trolley. She was a baguette but her teeth were so small that it wasn't working. I was staring at her amused and she looked back at me, smiling.

Today was Easter. 

Usually, on Easter, the church is crammed full with people. So much so, that during the service, someone from the hospitality team tries to discretely add more chairs to the back. This doesn't escape anyone's notice though. Most of the people who come for Easter are never seen again until perhaps Christmas or Easter the following year. 

Peace

I remember a sermon that the old priest gave in Church and she commented on this. The world isn't peaceful, but we need to strive for finding little pockets of peace in the midst of everyday life.

I feel like this is a very important message especially considering the situations that are happening in the world. It is sad to see that society seems not to be learning from its mistakes, but instead making the same ones again. It is sad to hear the news of innocent people dying and it is not great thinking about Brexit and Trump being president. It may seem really bleak at the moment seeing what is going on. And then, there are the problems of everyday live itself. Arguments. Tense situations. Stress. Worries. It is really easy to feel like peace isn't achievable. 

However, I think my old priest was right. We can find peace if we look for it, and not in a, I am going to ignore all the bad things that are happening way, but realistically. For instance, I feel at peace when I am at Northala fields, sat at the top of a hill and just focusing on breathing. I am under no illusion that life will be perfect and that problems will solve themselves, but I just find myself drained of negativity and worry even if just for a moment. I also feel peaceful when I am revising or volunteering or drawing. 

Peace on a large scale, may seem far off unfortunately. But, I really do think that we can all find peace in an individual basis.

Doctor Who

I am so happy. New season of Doctor Who and it looks promising! :)

I made a list the other week when I was very much focused on how I am eating too much and how i am going to gain weight.

The list was of things that I like about myself irrespective of my weight, which is as follows:

a) I laugh a lot
b) I can draw
c) I am hard working
d) I try to be nice to people
e) I get along with people
f) I am serious about stuff (i.e. my education) but still know how to take a joke.
g) I don't drink alcohol
h) I enjoy a walk
i) I don't spend much money
j) I try to be respectful to people
k) My sight and hearing is good

All of what I have

Here are some stuff I am grateful for in no particular order.

1) Somewhere to sleep
2) Warm water
3) Friends who I can trust
4) The sense of stability
5) I can move about
6) Money
7) Food and drink
8) The capability to love and trust
9) Family
10) An education
11) Ability to make own decisions
12) Technology (e.g. my phone)
13) Nice weather
14) Clean clothes
15) Peace and quiet
16) Books
17) Being able to enjoy things
18) Problems - they suck at the time, but I feel like lots of things have a silver lining. For instance, having responsibility over my siblings means I am able to look after myself.
19) Music

Hello!


I sort of have been thinking. I need to eat more balanced. At university, I manage to. But I feel like I am not allowed to eat most foods and I go overboard. Then at home, I still feel like, 'I shouldn't be eating this,' but I do anyway and then worry about gaining weight and I have been thinking, if I were able to maintain a balance between that, I would be okay.

I feel like even though my eating patterns feel bad, a plus side is that I am able to eat healthily. As in, I do eat vegetables and fruit. Also, I do not drink many drinks high in calories or sugars. Also, there is so much I won't eat unless it is bought for me / in the house. Therefore meaning, if I am not surrounded by biscuits, I won't eat them.

OMG, I am in love.

Just watched how to train a dragon 1 and toothless is soooo cute!

A guide on how not to be awkward


1) For me, just not talking.

Rewatching something on lecture capture and the lecturer is like, 'actually, I don't understand any of this either.'

Mum's back

My mum is back!

I'm going to gain so much weight this holiday.

I don't want to know.

I just want to go back to uni where I can eat better and properly cut food out of my life.

Like here, it's like, I won't eat chips. But if someone shoves chips in my face, then I will eat all of them, even if I am full. Even if I know it is bad.

I need to be in an environment where there is no bad food anywhere.

I keep saying, oh, I will eat less calories tomorrow. I'll be good. I'll resist temptation. But then the next day, it is like shit. Damn it. Because the problem is, other people by junk food and I eat it because I am an idiot.

I just want to go back to uni where I can eat better.

A couple of weeks ago, at the foodbank, my brother discovered that there was a small group of people bitching about everyone. They got pissed. 

One of the girls sort of isolated herself for a bit and everyone was going on about, wow, she's such a b****. She's so two faced. She comes today and my sister is talking to her like they are best mates. Like of course, I didn't want them to argue, but exactly the same thing that they were getting annoyed at her for doing. I think it is better to actually address the problem - like say, why did you say those things - as opposed to both sides being so two faced and chatting shit behind others back but being best friends together. I'm sorry. I was so annoyed by how superficial it was. My sister's boyfriend - who was also commented about by the girl - just ignored her. I mean, it is getting no where with solving the problem, but at least he's not pretending to like her then saying stuff.