Oh, yeah, these fools from Santander.
I lose my card. So what do they do?
Replace it with a contactless card.
Do they want someone to steal my card and spend all my money?
I called them to replace a lost card and they give me one that is easier to lose!
Friday, 27 January 2017
Home coming
Bonjour mes amis,
That is the extent of all the french I know.
I now some more. But it is really pitiful considering that I took French for GCSE.
Ah well, C'est la vie.
I came back home today.
I lost my card on Monday. I am an idiot. I left it in the card machine in Tesco and I couldn't go back because I realised the next day before my lecture.
I realised midway through my lecture that I needed to have my card to print off my tickets. I went to Leamington Station anyway - hoped that they would let me get my ticket anyway. However, apparently, I couldn't use my ticket. I was so annoyed.
The man was like I could buy another ticket for twenty pounds - money I didn't have. I only had a tenner! I was so annoyed and gutted. I just had to get home!
So I approached a stranger and asked for ten pounds and told her I'd give it back to her through online banking straight away but she was like no, it's fine.
I got on a train two minutes later.
On the train, I sat opposite a lady who was sleeping. I smiled at her and then avoided looking at her. I then brought out my work and did that for a while.
At High Wycombe, I asked her where the train was terminating seeing as I had no idea. And She said, London Marylebone and I said thank you.
Then we started to talk and didn't stop for the whole journey.
She asked what degree I did and when I said Psychology, she told me she was a mental health advocate and she told me about her job and how to get work experience. We talked about her daughter who wants to go London for uni next year and she told me about how she was going to the theatre for the evening with her boyfriend and she said she had only one child and that she was 43 and I told her she didn't look it.
And then at three, I arrived, back in Wembley. :)
Au revoir.
That is the extent of all the french I know.
I now some more. But it is really pitiful considering that I took French for GCSE.
Ah well, C'est la vie.
I came back home today.
I lost my card on Monday. I am an idiot. I left it in the card machine in Tesco and I couldn't go back because I realised the next day before my lecture.
I realised midway through my lecture that I needed to have my card to print off my tickets. I went to Leamington Station anyway - hoped that they would let me get my ticket anyway. However, apparently, I couldn't use my ticket. I was so annoyed.
The man was like I could buy another ticket for twenty pounds - money I didn't have. I only had a tenner! I was so annoyed and gutted. I just had to get home!
So I approached a stranger and asked for ten pounds and told her I'd give it back to her through online banking straight away but she was like no, it's fine.
I got on a train two minutes later.
On the train, I sat opposite a lady who was sleeping. I smiled at her and then avoided looking at her. I then brought out my work and did that for a while.
At High Wycombe, I asked her where the train was terminating seeing as I had no idea. And She said, London Marylebone and I said thank you.
Then we started to talk and didn't stop for the whole journey.
She asked what degree I did and when I said Psychology, she told me she was a mental health advocate and she told me about her job and how to get work experience. We talked about her daughter who wants to go London for uni next year and she told me about how she was going to the theatre for the evening with her boyfriend and she said she had only one child and that she was 43 and I told her she didn't look it.
And then at three, I arrived, back in Wembley. :)
Au revoir.
Saturday, 21 January 2017
James and I sat in my room talking for an hour forty-five minutes and it was pretty cool. He talked more than usual and we both enjoyed each other's company. It feels like we're friends. We are friends but it's just that it hasn't felt like that for a while. I feel like instead of hiding out and doing work in the library, I can stay in my room and I won't be distracted.
Hello
I thought I'd update you.
At uni, there is a wellbeing service and they have half an hour drop-ins every other weekend.
I decided that perhaps I should go to one and talk about my eating. That perhaps they could outline a strategy.
It was a bit scary because I don't like labels and I wasn't seeking like a diagnosis or something. It was more just, I do not want things to get any worse than it is and so may as well try and tackle is at as soon as possible.
It was really funny really. Before the session I was sooo nervous and I felt like either crying or leaving. Then when I went in the room, all I could focus on was her green hair. At one point, she asked me how my friends would describe me and I said definitely talkative and that they would say that I laugh a lot. At which point, she laughed and said she laughs some times when she feels nervous and I was like, yep, I know that feeling then she said my laugh was contagious.
She suggested that I try counselling (which I am not too keen on) or maybe IAPT (which is going through therapy through GP).
Alternatively, she suggested I try some self-help (which I was more keen on).
She sent me links for positive psychology strategies (which she thinks may help me to focus on something other than food). I've briefly looked through the practices and they seem rather character building in general, like the sort of thing people should do regardless so here's a link if you want to take a look : http://ggia.berkeley.edu/#filters=featured
Also, she sent me links to an eating disorder work booklet (which sort of scared me because eating disorder? She didn't say, but like I was worried).
I think I'll try the self-help.
I don't think I have an eating disorder and even if I did, I am happy with life. Therapy and counselling is for unhappy people. I'll only be wasting their time.
Though on the other hand, I thought, but like my eating has never been great. I have never felt in control with my eating or weight. I was obese when I was 10 (according to my BMI). Until recently, I have never been able to tell whether I am full or not, If I am honest. Before I started uni, I struggled when it came to trying to go three hours (or longer) without food. The only times I did was when I went out somewhere.
And whilst now, I finally feel like I have control, it's become rather obsessive. I am eating healthily which is great but it doesn't feel great. Will I ever be in a place where eating and food isn't a problem?Hopefully. We'll see.
By the way, this post was really hard to write.
Love you.
At uni, there is a wellbeing service and they have half an hour drop-ins every other weekend.
I decided that perhaps I should go to one and talk about my eating. That perhaps they could outline a strategy.
It was a bit scary because I don't like labels and I wasn't seeking like a diagnosis or something. It was more just, I do not want things to get any worse than it is and so may as well try and tackle is at as soon as possible.
It was really funny really. Before the session I was sooo nervous and I felt like either crying or leaving. Then when I went in the room, all I could focus on was her green hair. At one point, she asked me how my friends would describe me and I said definitely talkative and that they would say that I laugh a lot. At which point, she laughed and said she laughs some times when she feels nervous and I was like, yep, I know that feeling then she said my laugh was contagious.
She suggested that I try counselling (which I am not too keen on) or maybe IAPT (which is going through therapy through GP).
Alternatively, she suggested I try some self-help (which I was more keen on).
She sent me links for positive psychology strategies (which she thinks may help me to focus on something other than food). I've briefly looked through the practices and they seem rather character building in general, like the sort of thing people should do regardless so here's a link if you want to take a look : http://ggia.berkeley.edu/#filters=featured
Also, she sent me links to an eating disorder work booklet (which sort of scared me because eating disorder? She didn't say, but like I was worried).
I think I'll try the self-help.
I don't think I have an eating disorder and even if I did, I am happy with life. Therapy and counselling is for unhappy people. I'll only be wasting their time.
Though on the other hand, I thought, but like my eating has never been great. I have never felt in control with my eating or weight. I was obese when I was 10 (according to my BMI). Until recently, I have never been able to tell whether I am full or not, If I am honest. Before I started uni, I struggled when it came to trying to go three hours (or longer) without food. The only times I did was when I went out somewhere.
And whilst now, I finally feel like I have control, it's become rather obsessive. I am eating healthily which is great but it doesn't feel great. Will I ever be in a place where eating and food isn't a problem?Hopefully. We'll see.
By the way, this post was really hard to write.
Love you.
Saturday, 14 January 2017
Difficult conversations
Today, A and I went to see the subwarden for our accommodation.
We had reached the stage where we were regretting our decision to live with J. We literally have to tip toe around because if he catches wind that we are together or that A has left her room, he sort of tries to find us.
With A, she feels bad and always has to sit with him during lectures and as a result, she's not been able to make more friends. It sucks in the respect that she is trying to introduce him to people but he doesn't make an effort meaning that she is feels obliged to look after him.
With me, I feel like I am guilt-tripped into spending time with him, the way he messages me. It is the 'oh, don't worry about me, I'll be fine,'s and the sad faces when I haven't got time.
Friendship shouldn't feel like an obligation.
We know he has a mental illness. We know that it's not a choice or a preference - if it were, who would choose to go through such agony?
Our accommodation warden told us to talk to him. To tell him that he was putting so much on us. To tell him that we aren't trained and that he should seek help from elsewhere whilst still sort of saying that he should come and talk to us because obviously, it is good that he's talking about his problems. She told us to tell him that me and A need time alone and that we aren't trying to exclude him. We were also told to say that it was be helpful if he told us what we could do to help as opposed to just sat there.
And she told us she knew it would be a difficult conversation but that it was necessary.
I felt like laughing all the conversations are difficult.
Telling him he should seek help.
Telling him to text me and not knock on my door.
Responding to him when he's sort of guilt tripping me.
It's all difficult. What's one more difficult, honest, conversation?
We talked to him as soon as we had the meeting.
We tried to skirt around the topic - he thought we were just going on a walk.
We were five minutes in and A and I were both so nervous and unsure of what to say and so I was like, we need to talk to you.
AT which point, we figured out that we had no idea how to articulate our points, so it came out as waffly nonsense.
But he understood and he appreciated our honesty.
I guess now we wait and see what happens.
A was super happy about things. I should have been but I felt like hiding away in my room and never dealing with human interaction because it was a good response, yes, but I still felt so tense.
(But half an hour later, I was perfectly fine, running through the corridor with A on my back).
We had reached the stage where we were regretting our decision to live with J. We literally have to tip toe around because if he catches wind that we are together or that A has left her room, he sort of tries to find us.
With A, she feels bad and always has to sit with him during lectures and as a result, she's not been able to make more friends. It sucks in the respect that she is trying to introduce him to people but he doesn't make an effort meaning that she is feels obliged to look after him.
With me, I feel like I am guilt-tripped into spending time with him, the way he messages me. It is the 'oh, don't worry about me, I'll be fine,'s and the sad faces when I haven't got time.
Friendship shouldn't feel like an obligation.
We know he has a mental illness. We know that it's not a choice or a preference - if it were, who would choose to go through such agony?
Our accommodation warden told us to talk to him. To tell him that he was putting so much on us. To tell him that we aren't trained and that he should seek help from elsewhere whilst still sort of saying that he should come and talk to us because obviously, it is good that he's talking about his problems. She told us to tell him that me and A need time alone and that we aren't trying to exclude him. We were also told to say that it was be helpful if he told us what we could do to help as opposed to just sat there.
And she told us she knew it would be a difficult conversation but that it was necessary.
I felt like laughing all the conversations are difficult.
Telling him he should seek help.
Telling him to text me and not knock on my door.
Responding to him when he's sort of guilt tripping me.
It's all difficult. What's one more difficult, honest, conversation?
We talked to him as soon as we had the meeting.
We tried to skirt around the topic - he thought we were just going on a walk.
We were five minutes in and A and I were both so nervous and unsure of what to say and so I was like, we need to talk to you.
AT which point, we figured out that we had no idea how to articulate our points, so it came out as waffly nonsense.
But he understood and he appreciated our honesty.
I guess now we wait and see what happens.
A was super happy about things. I should have been but I felt like hiding away in my room and never dealing with human interaction because it was a good response, yes, but I still felt so tense.
(But half an hour later, I was perfectly fine, running through the corridor with A on my back).
Friday, 13 January 2017
This may seem rather small, but for me, it is a milestone and sort of achievement, because achievements do not necessarily have to be large.
I signed up to a dodgeball rock up and play session. Basically, rock up and play sessions are where you sign up on one session basis, so it is not a weekly commitment if you do not want it to be.
I was skeptical about turning up - new people; embarrassment - but eventually I did.
I had a looooot of fun!
I was rubbish but I had fun!
And I think that I will continue going and that I will continue going to different sessions.
I felt soooo good afterwards. I was aching all over but I was happy.
This whole week has been a low point in terms of my eating. I have been obsessing about food sooooo much and it makes me feel so disgusting and horrible. I've been counting every calorie and agonising over everything. Also, I have been eating up in my room because I am convinced that people will judge me for eating. It's stupid and irrational, I know. I've been under eating. Not like dieting under eating, but starving under eating. A lot of the days this week, I've felt so weak and tired, I know I shouldn't but I did. It is ironic because I've gone from a Chrismas full of over eating junk food to under eating healthy food and it's funny in the respect that it's sort of two extremes.
My mini goal at the moment is to eat enough so that I am not starving and so that I don't have massive dips in terms of energy level.
Also, I intend to continue exercising regularly. :)
I signed up to a dodgeball rock up and play session. Basically, rock up and play sessions are where you sign up on one session basis, so it is not a weekly commitment if you do not want it to be.
I was skeptical about turning up - new people; embarrassment - but eventually I did.
I had a looooot of fun!
I was rubbish but I had fun!
And I think that I will continue going and that I will continue going to different sessions.
I felt soooo good afterwards. I was aching all over but I was happy.
This whole week has been a low point in terms of my eating. I have been obsessing about food sooooo much and it makes me feel so disgusting and horrible. I've been counting every calorie and agonising over everything. Also, I have been eating up in my room because I am convinced that people will judge me for eating. It's stupid and irrational, I know. I've been under eating. Not like dieting under eating, but starving under eating. A lot of the days this week, I've felt so weak and tired, I know I shouldn't but I did. It is ironic because I've gone from a Chrismas full of over eating junk food to under eating healthy food and it's funny in the respect that it's sort of two extremes.
My mini goal at the moment is to eat enough so that I am not starving and so that I don't have massive dips in terms of energy level.
Also, I intend to continue exercising regularly. :)
Wednesday, 11 January 2017
Eating
This term, I have made a meal plan in order to make sure I buy what I need. Last term, what happened is that I would wander around Tesco's and Aldi thinking hmm. What do I buy?
I have only been back five days including today and I have realised that having a meal plan does not work as well as I intended it.
1) I sometimes think, hmmmm, I should buy this as well.
2) The other day, my lid broke in my pan and as a result, I had to throw the food away.
3) Some of my meal choices aren't exactly ... great...
I've been so eager to eat healthily that I have neglected eating well.
For instance, I've decided that I would have spinach and a boiled egg for breakfast. Trust me, it is not filling at all! I spent the morning half asleep until I had lunch.
So far, I have spent most of my days either half asleep or so tired that I have to rest during the day.
It is funny really. I usually over eat. At home anyway. Now however, I am not evening enough.
I think as opposed to trying to lose weight, I will just try to maintain my weight.
I wish as opposed to eating
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)